Many Christians are plainly ignorant about their sexuality or pretend that it does not even exist. This is because talking about sex is a taboo in many communities. However, we need to understand that the sexual life of the Christian is an integral part, in fact, a very powerful aspect of our human existence.
From Genesis through Revelations, so much has been said about human sexuality. God blessed it in the Garden of Eden and sanctioned the proper use of sex for reproduction ( Genesis 1:28). Besides procreation, God intended sex for pleasure as a powerful means of binding people together in love. In Genesis 4:1, the scripture says that Adam “knew his wife and she became pregnant…” The word “knew” as used in the King James Version for sexual union means much more than a physical union. It suggests a total identification with another person to the point where one becomes totally transparent to the other party.
Apostle Paul, writing to the church in Corinth, forcefully explains the point this way: “Do you not know that he who unites with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, the two shall be one flesh.” (1 Cor. 6:16 NIV). Thus, there is a mystical union between two people who engage in sex. And over time, there is a soul-tie between the parties involved.
Another point to note is that an enormous amount of energy is exerted through the sexual act. And that strong energy (strength of a man) when properly dispensed has the potential of creating life (babies). Hence, it is written in Proverbs 31:12, NIV: “ O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.” The sexual urge in all of us is a powerful and strong emotion. Many of us tend to downplay its strong appeal on our lives. Many powerful kings, heads of states, and even great people of God. have suffered badly when they allowed the improper use of this strong urge to overrule their judgements.
How then could we control our sexual desires? First of all, we need to have a healthy understanding that sexual desire is an integral part of human life and that there is a place in our human development when this desire will exert some strong pressure on us. All of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, need to have a proper appreciation of our human sexuality and learn to keep our sexual life within the boundaries set by the Giver. The lack of this proper understanding has led to all kinds of experimentations. Many people have yielded to unhealthy means of venting this sexual desire such as pornography, masturbation, watching X rated videos, and attending strip clubs.
Secondly, we need to ask God who put that sexual desire in us for the divine ability to keep it under control and in all purity. It is true that some people are born and gifted as eunuchs while others have chosen celibacy as a lifestyle for various reasons. However, for the greater majority of us who have to deal with our sexual desires, we need to develop a proper set of boundaries to contain them.
The proper framework God allows for sexual union is when a man and a woman marry. Outside of marriage, every sexual activity is considered sinful and will bring the judgment of God. Thus. Apostle Paul admonishes the Church in Corinth: “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn.” ( 1 Cor. 7:9). This passage clearly defines the limits for “releasing” our strong desires.
What then should the unmarried do to keep this strong sexual desire from erupting anywhere and any time? One word: FLEE!! Don’t stand and stare. Don’t pretend that you are a tough person. For nobody can keep coals of fire in his bosom and pretend that it would not burn him. Again the word is, flee; or better still, run away. Flee the evil desires of youth (2 Timothy 2:22).